Children’s Counsellor I provide specialist counselling for teenagers. Deciding to seek therapeutic help for our children can be a very difficult decision for us to make. Very often we have tried everything we can think of to help our child and we have done our best but, sadly, our best seems to have affected no positive change and the difficulties still exist and the relationship between us and our child seems to deteriorate before our eyes causing heartbreak, confusion, guilt and anger.
Coming to a place of acceptance that we are all out of alternatives, and we have no more resources available to us to make things better, can understandably make us feel powerless and afraid and allowing our child to meet with a professional is big step. We wonder who might be the right person to speak with our precious child and we wonder what this person will say to make things better. Our fear is that they may step into the middle of our family and create distance and awkwardness that will be there forever, making an already difficult situation worse. This situation is made even harder when, as parents, we are advised that what our child speaks about in counselling is confidential and we can know nothing the sessions from the therapist.
Quite naturally we worry about what is being said and if advice is being given by the therapist that contradicts our values and beliefs.
In a volatile family situation, where behaviour is unpredictable, the idea that our child might one day tell us after therapy that they are behaving in the way that they are because they are taking the advice of the “professional” that we have told them to see would most probably make us feel angry, betrayed and powerless and at the centre of a potentially dangerous situation over which we have no control.
An experienced, qualified, therapist will understand the dilemmas parents face when they decide to seek outside interventions to help their children.
An experienced therapist will not encourage a young person to be challenging and defiant.
I always insist that wherever possible parents who are wondering about counselling for their children meet with me first before they allow me to meet with their child.
It gives me an opportunity to take some history and more importantly, it gives parents an opportunity to meet with me and to make decision as to whether or not I am the right person to work with their child. Of course my work is always confidential however I will never keep dangerous secrets.
This means that before I start working with a young person they are clear that if I am at all worried about their safety or I believe that they are at risk of harm I will not keep this a secret from their parents.
If you would like to discuss this other then please do get in touch with me by email or phone, I always available to speak with people who are concerned about their children.