We don’t have sex anymore

We don’t have sex anymore. Couple counselling allows you both to review your relationship, celebrate your strengths and work towards improving those areas of your relationship that cause you both difficulties.

We want and need different things at different stages of our lives. Sometimes, when we are younger, our priorities might be settling down, having children and creating a sound professional life that enables us to support our family.

Perhaps later on in life, when the children are older, we might have different priorities that might include learning how to re-organise our thoughts and feelings around our partner as the children prepare to leave home and we take on different roles which other.

As we age our bodies change, our chemistry changes and our desires change as we learn to accept and understand what it means to get older. A couple has to do this difficult task as individuals within a relationship, taking into account each other’s needs and desires as the future becomes present.

This might include both partners relearning and rethinking their sexual life together.

I was interested and pleased to hear Inside Health, Radio Four’s radio show, talking about testosterone supplements for women who lose their libido after they have been through the change of life. I was delighted to hear the show’s presenters question the safety and ethical basis for providing a pill for this important issue in a woman’s later adult life. 

Libido is not something that should be turned off and on with the use of a pill. As with all matters relating to the internal life of a couple, libido is affected by far more than just a chemical imbalance. Trust, safety and intimacy all have to be in place before a healthy relationship with each other’s libido can function.

Couples therapy, for those couples committed to staying together and working together in a mutually supportive environment, allows you both to hear each other, respond to each other’s distress in a timely and sensible fashion and allows you both to learn how to signal distress in a reasonable way that can be understood easily and simply by your partner.

Couple counselling is a chance for you both to reinvent your relationship in a way that leaves you both feeling you have got what you wanted without either of you feeling you have given more than you’ve gained.

Please contact me if you would like to find out how this can happen.