Therapy for sexual assault
Therapy for sexual assault. I am a therapist providing specialist treatment for children and young people, adults, couples and families. I help people recover from childhood trauma and I strengthen families and couples who are interested in finding another way of being with each other.
I help my clients to understand the true meaning behind their behaviour and help them to replace unhelpful judgements and speculation that they may have had about themselves in the past with authentic knowledge that brings compassionate understanding and harmony to their lives.
If you would like more information about my services and counselling then please feel free to email me using my contact form.
Sometimes, one of the hardest things for a survivor of sexual assault to recover from is a believe that they could have been more self-protective and resistive during the assault. This belief is held for a number of reasons. It is common for survivors of sexual assault to feel as if they have been forced into a place of loss. Loss of safety, a loss of the belief that the world is fair, loss of innocence and loss of control over what happens to their bodies.
Anger, shock, disbelief and a sense that if only we had the opportunity to re-run the past, we could rewrite history in our favour are just some of the common thoughts and emotions we might experience when we experience such profoundly traumatic events. Sometimes we can be overwhelmed by a sense that if we had our time again we would fight back, or even run, and this sense can be so powerful that we can end up becoming angry and blaming and negative towards ourselves for not taking this action in the first place when we were being assaulted .
What this overwhelming sense forgets is that at the time we were being assaulted we took the only course of action our body could tolerate – freezing up. This is a common and natural response to intense fear and usually we do this because we get a very strong sense that putting up resistance will place us in even more danger. It can be hard, but getting to a point that allows us to accept that we did the best we could at the time can be very healing and it can give us back a sense of trust in ourselves that we know how to look after ourselves in times of extreme danger.
This sense of reuniting ourselves with ourselves is powerful and it excludes the perpetrator of our assault from defining our ability to protect ourselves. Indeed, it places ownership of the assault squarely on their shoulders and it says, “I did what I needed to do to get by safely when you were unable to manage yourself.”
Every experience of assault is painfully unique and individual, yet there are key commonalities of experience in the aftermath. This is why talking about your experience, when you are ready, can be so useful because you will find that rather than being alone and isolated in a world where you distrust yourself, you will find that other people have felt the same as you and did what you did to get through the experience safely.