My teenage daughter is sexually active

Sometimes, confidence around sexual partners is not what it seems. if you find yourself saying, My teenage daughter is sexually active then read on. We can reframe what is happening for her. I have begun to meet regularly with a very likeable and capable young person who is precocious in his advances to people he finds attractive.

I saw him as strong and driven but lacking in his understanding of how intimidating his behaviour can be. His behaviour makes him comical to older girls and threatening you younger girls. I have a fear that the only girls he has relationships with are emotionally vulnerable, unable to protect themselves appropriately, and prepared to do anything for companionship.

Yesterday, we spoke about his family. As he talked about the people in his family it became apparent that he barely sees his father of whom he has an idealised image. He describes his mother as either absent or demanding of him and giving little back in the way of hugs, time and mature guidance.

Suddenly, my understanding of him changed. The relationships he seeks from others are not about him “Living The Life” as he would say but rather about him finding closeness.

This new understanding of him has informed the way I need to be with him. We will finish our current batch of sessions, however, I am mindful that he may need us to work together again. With that in mind I shall be careful how I manage our ending and as our relationship develops I hope that he will become more mindful of his own needs and how best he can meet them.

Of course, my new understanding of this young man has enabled me to see the bigger picture in that believing there is a simple connection between behaviour and motives is misleading and can cause misunderstandings that effect the way we conduct ourselves around the people we look after.

Whether it’s girls or boys, a high sex drive may be connected to the way them feel about themselves and how they go about making themselves feel better.

If you have found this blog speaks about some of the things you have been thinking, like My teenage daughter is sexually active Maybe you might consider contacting me, we can talk about counselling and the other therapeutic options you have available to you.

From the New Forest to Bournemouth and Poole I have enabled young people, couples and families and individuals to understand what is happening for them and together we have created a better life.

When I work this week in Bournemouth, Poole or Dorset as a counsellor, couple counsellor, teenage and adolescent counsellor, family counsellor and family therapist, offering Family counselling and marriage guidance, marriage counselling, teenage counselling and adolescent counselling to individuals and couples with differing forms of anxiety and depression feeling anxious and depressed, I may use CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), Attachment Theory, Mindfulness, Psychodrama, Person Centred Therapy, Humanistic Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Solution Focused Therapy, Integrative Therapy or Family Therapy or Attachment Theory…I am mindful to that counselling offers us new opportunities and possibilities for us to develop our knowledge, commitment and understanding of ourselves and each other.