Are you thinking considering Marriage counselling or couples therapy? Here is a brief, but by no means exhaustive, list of some of the things that could have brought you to marriage counselling:
1, Mental health is having a detrimental impact on you both.
Perhaps one of you has problematical behaviour around alcohol or other mood altering things. Maybe one of you might be anxious or depressed or suffers from anxiety and depression and poor mental health because they feel they have arrived at a crossroads in their lives and they are struggling to decide how to proceed. Perhaps you feel you have carried your partner, your job and the children and responsibilities you both share for too long and you feel you would like your partner to “Sort themselves out!”
2, Relationships outside of your relationship
This can be very difficult. Fixing your damaged and hurt feelings as well as finding common ground to develop trust and belief in your relationship once again can be a monumental task. Some people see it as too big a task to take on board so they finish the relationship, while others want to try and work things out and…..not start again…..but start anew.
Perhaps you have had miscarriages or terminations or you have not been able to have children or maybe you have not been able to have as many as you would have liked and you are both struggling to understand how you feel. Men sometimes feel that they have suffered in the same way as their partners however women often feel that they are not only in mourning but also that they are somehow to blame as they have a body that cannot not do what it needs to do or it has suffered a trauma that their partner has not physically been through.
Perhaps you have lost a child and both of you feel somehow responsible for their death or blame the other for this death. These terrible thoughts frighten us and make us angry. This level of fear and anger can make us believe that we could never talk about it and it silences us and ends up building up in our hearts, nurturing resentment that grows everyday towards ourselves and our partners.
Perhaps step children are having a negative impact on your relationship. Step-families can have a variety of tough influences on your life. Perhaps you believe your partner feels guilty about the things their children experienced when they split from their ex partner and perhaps you believe the guilt you feel exists in your partner’s heart motivates your them in ways that frustrate you and no matter how hard you try you just can’t make them understand that what they do makes the situation worse for the two of you.
Maybe your partner has a difficult, but necessary, relationship with their ex partner because they share children. Perhaps you dread the future with their ex partner always in the wings because this person seems hell bent on making your lives together difficult and unmanageable.
Marriage counselling and couples therapy can help with all of these issues and more besides so if you would like to find out how counselling or therapy can help please get in touch with me either by phone or email and I can tell you more about the services I offer.