How do I find a good counsellor for me, my marriage, for my children or for my family?

If you are asking yourself “How do I find a good counsellor for me, my marriage, for my children or for my family?” the perhaps you are already feeling unhappy about a situation for a while.

It’s a brave and sometimes difficult thing to find the right kind of help.

When you research counsellors on line in Bournemouth, Poole or Dorset you might find that they all seem the same.

You might find that you don’t really know how to choose, maybe a friend of yours has said they received a certain type of therapy from a particular person and it worked for them but still….you are not sure.

Perhaps, as you read all the different websites you begin to feel that they all look pretty much the same and say the same things in different ways.

For example they will probably all say stuff about “providing you with a safe, confidential, environment in which you can explore all you issues……” and they will probably all say they will be “non-judgemental” etc etc etc

You might end up choosing a therapist by means that have nothing to do with the therapy they offer but rather by the way they look.

For example, do they look straight at the camera? You might wonder if the therapist you are looking at on line looks like they have worked out all their own problems and are in a position to help you? Maybe they are smiling too much and look too perfect or maybe they don’t smile enough and look uncomfortable being photographed.

Maybe you might say NO to a counsellor who charges too much or too little?

When you ask, “How do I find a good counsellor?”, it might be useful to reflect on this….

There is NO right approach, counselling works if the counsellor you are working with is able to develop a meaningful relationship with you.

Not by telling you they are smart and they can see that you have this condition or that problem and they point at a book of definitions to prove this-please beware of folks who attempt to “diagnose” you, this includes clinical psychologists and psychiatrists, because all they are doing is describing what they see and comparing you with other people who kind of seem the same.

Rather, think about the teachers at school you most enjoyed being around, I think you will find that you liked them not so much for their depth of understanding of their subject but by the way they saw you and made you feel when you were around them.

“How do I find a good counsellor?”

1, Try a few out, you don’t have to stick to the first one you call

2, Go meet some

3, Be careful and discerning

4, Ask them about their experience and their level of training, this is definitely important

5, See if you like being in their consulting room and if you like the way they speak to you, this should be with just the right amount of deference and respect combined with just the right amount of confidence and care.


Sometimes, when we are feeling anxious about something or we have been managing our anxiety for a while on our own, we can be open to the first person who tells us they can help but take your time and be in charge.


When I work this week in Bournemouth, Poole or Dorset as a counsellor, couple counsellor, teenage and adolescent counsellor, family counsellor, family therapist…


Family counselling and marriage guidance, marriage counseling, teenage counselling and adolescent counselling…

I may use CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), Attachment Theory, Mindfulness, Psychodrama, Person Centered Therapy, Humanistic Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Solution Focused Therapy, Integrative Therapy or Family Therapy or Attachment Theory…

I am mindful to that counselling offers us new opportunities and possibilities for all of us to develop our knowledge, commitment and understanding of ourselves.