Counselling. I provide specialist counselling services. My home page will show you my qualifications and experience in working with children, teenagers, individuals, couples and families. In my blog this week I talk about the necessity some adults and children have to remove themselves from the here and now.
At other times, we may need to take a break outside of these formalised and mutually agreed pauses in our existence. These breaks might be much shorter and may only last for a few moments.
The daydreamer, the person who never quite gets things done in the time that the rest of us would like him to get things done, the person who seems to forget important details, the person who seems clumsy or absent minded, the innumerable people on the planet who spend a considerable amount of time seeking entertainment on the mobile phone, are all examples of a much wider phenomena that shows us that being present all the time for most of us is very difficult.
Children who gaze out of a window are not being challenging and defiant, rather they are taking a break from the rigours of the school day just as their adult peers may take a break from the rigours of their own lives by looking on their phones.
A compassionate sensitive teacher will understand that some young people need to come to a place of rest during their school day and will make allowances, indeed, if they notice this happening more than feels comfortable, they may wonder what else is going on in the lives of these young children for them to need these unscheduled but essential breaks.
The pressured, stressed teacher will see a child gazing out of the window and will feel threatened by this inactivity because they will see a young person who is compromising the potential of the teacher to input in a consistent enough way that will allow value to be added to that child.
This is when judgemental and unhelpful descriptions are attached to a child like “lazy, unfocused or lacks attention”
Think before you jump to a conclusion that a person, or indeed a young person, is being disrespectful to you when they apparently seem to “switch off” from you for a few moments. They may need to do this to protect their mental health and well-being, this may be a way of them avoiding anxiety and depression.
Is CBT cognitive behavioural therapy an appropriate intervention in cases like these? I would argue that CBT is very rarely useful and particularly in instances where an individual needs some space and peace.