Counselling for children in care
Counselling for children in care. I provide Family Counselling and I also provide counselling for young people, individuals and couples. I have written this blog to highlight some of the difficulties that fostering and adoption can bring to children and families.
Imagine having your children taken away from you and placed in the care of another family because you have not been considered good enough by the state. Imagine birthdays and Christmas time when you are able to speak with them on the phone only for just a few minutes where you have to remain upbeat and happy for their sake and also so that their new carers will not tell the people who took them away that you upset them again.
Imagine how your children might feel being in care and having to follow new rules which might possibly include working towards trusting your new family.
If you have read this far and you find yourself saying, “You shouldn’t have had children in the first place if you can’t look after them” Then I suppose I have sympathy for you and I wonder if you might be wondering where this blog is going? It is at this point that I recall that when Scrooge was asked to contribute to the poor fund he replied, as we all remember, “If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.” – Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.
I am lucky enough to have worked in a variety of schools and I have found them to be inspirational places where adults of all cultures gather to help the next generation take hold of the world. Maths, Science and English are wonderful subjects and open up worlds of possibilities for our society but until the time we privilege human relationships above all other studies then I wonder if we will make sense of this educational narrative by considering the study of ourselves as a secondary concern to the main the responsibility we are shown in school which seems to be to our grades.
It is a well observed phenomenon that once a parent has had their children removed from them they cease to view their children as wholly their own. Whether or not they are returned the implied threat or possibility that care represents to them, as parents, affects their parenting for ever. This means that natural intuitive bonds are very hard to come by and discipline becomes harder because of the concern that whatever is done will be, to some extent or other, scrutinised by a third party or the state. In short the impact on a parent-child bond is huge and often irreparable.
Our governments tell us that they support families and I have no doubt that they do their best with the recourses available. However, if you are able to, I would encourage you to do your best too and if you have a friend or colleague who is a parent and is struggling then why not come alongside them, walk with them a while and help them with their load on this part of the road.
If you have found this blog useful and would like to find out what counselling can do for you or someone you care about then why not get in touch with me and we can speak about counselling and the other courses of action open to you.