Bereavement counselling – I provide bereavement counselling for children and young people, adults, couples and families. I help people recover from childhood trauma and I strengthen families and couples who are interested in finding another way of being with each other. I enable people to understand the true meaning behind their behaviour thereby replacing unhelpful judgements and speculation that may have existed in the past with authentic, useful, knowledge that brings compassionate understanding and harmony to all.
There are so many different ways that loss makes us feel that a “one size fits all” approach to bereavement therapy is unrealistic and often counter-productive.
It is safe to say that certain emotions and sensations are commonly experienced by us all when we loose something precious.
Shock, anger, fear, disbelief and sadness can all Impact our well-being when we experience loss. Sometimes, as can be seen with Grenfell Tower, the loss we are exposed to is of such magnitude that we are affected by its presence in exactly the same way as we would be affected by the loss of loved ones who are known to us.
It is often the case that we can be in the midst of grief when the people around us, who we believe have been as affected as we have been, can seem somehow recovered or somehow less emotionally disabled by grief as we are.
This does not mean that we are somehow less strong or indeed that the people around us are somehow emotionally stronger than us, it just means that we might possibly have understood and experienced the situation differently. We are not better or worse we just experience things differently and we have different rules, emotionally, to live by.
However, in our competitive world where so much of what we do and who we are is judged, compared and assessed, even our emotions can seem better or worse than someone else’s and in this way we too can seem better or worse than somebody else if we are perceived to have recovered from a loss quicker or slower than someone else.
Bereavement is a process, it is a personal experience and for the bereaved, acceptance of their experience is usually all they require of their loved ones.
Concepts and theories that speak about how to get over terrible loss are useful ,however, sometimes being taught how to manage your grief in a timely, sequential way, seems crass and misguided. In our society that seeks results the bereaved can sometimes be seen as over indulging themselves in their unhappiness if they fail to follow a process and guidelines.
This can lead to people feeling misunderstood and in some cases, it can lead to people feeling fearful of their grief because they are helped to believe that they should have recovered quicker than they have. Needless to say, this interrupts the grief process and de-skills a person, separating them from themselves at a time when they most need to be in touch with their emotions.
If you would like to talk about how the counselling I provide could help you or someone you love then please get in touch with me, I would be pleased to hear from you.