Anger management therapy
I provide specialist Anger management therapy. I work on the basis that angry people have something worthwhile and valuable to say about themselves or others and I help them develop tools to express themselves in more effective ways.
Anger is a normal emotion and it usually informs us that our boundaries have been breached or violated. Just because we get angry does not mean that we are wrong, however the way in which we express our anger is key to us being able to feel better and to feel better understood.
Learning to communicate in ways that enable you to feel that you have represented yourself properly, but without other people genuinely suffering in the process, is an important start to developing a healthy relationships.
Anger becomes dangerous to ourselves and others when it is difficult to express. It is usually hard to express when we have grown up in an environment of shame and blame, where we have been in an environment where we have had to place our needs behind the needs of others or where our needs were not seen. In this way we fail to develop straightforward ways of signalling distress but rather we present behaviours to others that seem confusing, dangerous, bad, wrong or in other ways challenging to those around us.
Unprocessed anger is a major cause of psychological and emotional ill health that can have a negative impact on our health and behaviour.
Therapy allows us to track back and develop an understanding of ourselves that is compassionate and realistic and based on care, respect and consideration. Therapy allows us to express ourselves in more helpful ways because the consequences of not doing so compromises us emotionally and physically and puts runs the risk of placing our relationships in danger.
Children and young people and adults act out with their anger when they are unable to express it in other ways. An angry child who is acting out is signalling distress in the only way she or he knows how.
It has been recognised that “anger fuelling” thoughts come in threes:
1, Magnification (perceiving something as bigger than it actually is),
2, Labelling (calling someone names either to their face or in your head)
3, Assuming Intent (imagining that someone is provoking you on purpose)
Put together this trio of negative thoughts sets up a downward spiral that is hard to come out of. Becoming aware of how your thinking affects you is the first step in stopping this spiral.
If you would like to find out a little more about how you can change your relationship with your anger then please get in touch. I would be happy to talk you through how therapy with the right person can help.