Counselling for teenagers in Bournemouth

Our children are the most precious part of our lives. When they are unhappy we suffer, particularly if it is not possible for us to intervene and make them happier. Asking someone else to meet with them to help them is big step to take and takes trust and faith that the person you invite into your lives is capable of coming along side and helping. In my blog this week I am writing about feelings, their purpose and how best to manage them.

If you are looking for counselling for teenagers in Bournemouth, one of the first things you might consider is that our feelings inform us and tell us when we need to take action.

For example Anger protects us, it allows us to stand up for ourselves ( or others) and it can sometimes tell us to stop doing the things we are doing because they are bad for us or for others. Of course, it depends on the form the action takes, in the case of anger, if we become hostile, we might run the risk of acting out on our feelings and causing more harm than good….

Now, imagine being small. Imagine needing the people around you but they are unavailable to you or, even worse, they bully and abuse you verbally, physically or sexually. This could be happening at school. Your humanity is not seen. Instead you have become objectified. An object to be used to satisfy the needs of others, like a punch bag, a sex object or someone to come up with good grades at school so that the adults in your life need to feel good in their society.

You have real needs but these are being ignored or denied by those around you. The more you feel these feelings the more you hurt because as each day goes by the discomfort within you mounts.

You have no option, you have no choice. To stop hurting and feeling bad, you turn yourself off to yourself and you stop listening to the warning signs. You stop being in tune. You might do things that are dangerous to you but because you’ve ignored warnings from yourself for years, you are oblivious. You might take comfort from drugs or have unprotected sex with strangers or extra marital affairs, drive to fast or exercise too hard…the opportunities out there are endless once you stop listening to yourself!

You might get angry, not because your body and mind are telling you that you are unhappy about something and need to take action, but because you use anger as a tool to bring you what you want, what you need.

For you, anger stopped being an authentic expression of what was happening inside yourself because it was never recognised by others and you were never taught what it means and how to handle it appropriately.

Now, anger is just another thing you use to manipulate people into giving you what you need.

If you have been searching the web for Anger management counselling for teenagers in Bournemouth and you have found this blog interesting you might consider contacting me, we can talk about counselling and the other therapeutic options you have available to you.